The holidays and depression

Feeling blue going into the holidays? I know I am. Between caregiving, owning and running a business, and the cray-cray that comes with the holidays, this time of year can be debilitating, to say the least.

Dare I say, each year it becomes more challenging. Perhaps it’s due to my Dad’s Parkinson’s (he’s in the advanced stages of the disease, approaching being bedridden) and his birthday is Christmas. Anxiety, stress, chronic depression, suicidal ideations. Yes, you read that correctly.

I not only struggle with suicidal thoughts, but I am also a suicide survivor. How ironic is that? This leads to why Ravenwolf Marine, and the brand Den-Dry, have the color scheme they have. Even my hair, most of the time.

Awareness & Prevention

Project Semicolon. Out of the Darkness Walk – AFSP. These are near and dear to my heart. I lost a loved one to suicide in 2015. I’ve had several attempts myself, since pre-teen years through adulthood. Yet, over the years, especially since 2015, I fight those thoughts more and more. Knowing how it feels helps to keep me fighting. Yet, there are days that are much more difficult despite this. 

The struggle is draining. Which is probably another reason why the holidays are difficult for me. That nasty chatterbox chimes in. You know that voice, the inner one that is condescending and nasty. The one that puts you down, tells you how much of a failure you are, that you’re worthless and stupid. Maybe it’s echoing words you’ve heard growing up. Perhaps, stemming from a boss that was not such a great boss/person. Bullying can be caustic, creating such an inner voice that chatters on like there is no tomorrow. A never-ending barrage of negative verbiage. Holidays and depression can feel like a ginormous weight is sitting on one’s soul, slowly eating away at it.

Always Keep Fighting

This blog post isn’t for sympathy. No. It’s to be completely transparent. It’s to state, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. The holidays are tough to get through. Maybe you hide. Perhaps you lash out at others. Some folks pretend. Others become stoic. The important thing is to keep fighting. Find a therapist if you don’t already have one. Consider anti-depressants and chat with your doctor about which one is right for you. If you are in crisis, or someone you love is, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or 911. IMAlive has support available directly through their website in chat form.

#AlwaysKeepFighting, and #AKF, are the efforts of actor Jared Padalecki of Supernatural fame. He not only started the saying in an effort to help fans struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, he too deals with depression and anxiety, and has lost loved ones to suicide. The boys also ran a ‘You are not alone’ campaign that raised money for Random Acts, TWLOHA, and IMAlive several years ago. I have t-shirts from both and continue to support and raise awareness. The show may have ended after 15 seasons, however, their efforts continue where charity is concerned.

Moose says, always keep fighting. You are not alone.